Oh yes, it was judgment! And it was invalidating a horrible experience and belittling a lifetime of work I have put into getting to where I am.
The anger was/is not about the judgment. I can live with people being judgmental.
It is about making a hurtful illogical statement that my past can't have been that bad or I would not be as positive as I am. It's about doubt of my authenticity. It's about trying to put a label on me that is hurtful and wrong.
Anyone who doubts my past without knowing me, without having lived my life and experienced my pain, without having seen my physical scars - and expresses that to me, will not be able to expect a reasonable conversation about how it makes me feel.
And there will be no more conversation afterwards. I am a really tolerant and loving person but this is the one thing that I can never excuse.
Living for over a decade with daily fear, people not seeing or hearing me, doubting my pain - when it happens now, that is my Achilles heel!
I think it's because this doubt is why so many victims of abuse never come forward, because they are afraid nobody will believe them. That always was something I felt VERY strongly about.
I don't know why it caused this overwhelming as anger today but in a way I am glad it did. It feels like the anger gave me back a voice I haven't used in a very long time.

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