Hello, all.

So, I am very new to the idea of getting online and talking about my problems. I am also fairly new to understanding my bipolar diagnosis. I was diagnosed about a year ago, but have been struggling with this illness for quite some time.

I need help. I don't know what to do about my extreme mood swings. I am on medication and go to therapy regularly. I just always seem to go back and forth between manic episodes and depressive episodes, without any time "in the middle" or just feeling "normal". It's getting to the point where it is impacting my personal life and my professional life.

I am in a pretty dark place right now. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am frustrated because I have so many good things in my life, but I only think (and worry) about the negatives. Nothing seems to work. I am confused and I am tired of it. I am scared about what might happen to me if I don't get better. My friends and family don't understand. They think it's as simple as..."just feel better". Well, I came to the conclusion a long time ago that it isn't that simple.

I'm not sure what I want to get out of this post. Maybe I am just looking for someone to say, "I understand". I am tired of feeling this way, I am tired of self medicating, I am tired of cutting myself, I am just tired.

I feel like I have done a lot to seek help and I am not getting better. I need help. Please.