|
finding it very difficult to trust, to talk, to believe.
Phones are out of the question, I keep trying two different chat crisis lines but am always told they are busy. I've been googling how to but don't want to wait for supplies. I've never needed more to reach out and find it hopeless. Too many times in the past it has failed and I can not trust that anything has changed and that there is any help for me any where, at the same time I don't want to hurt anyone and what I want to do would hurt others I feel so hopeless and unable to trust anyone. I received an email from the SW at the doctors office.....times are hard, resources are scarce I'll see what I can find.....that was a few days ago...., guess I'm not worth much I really hate being poor. The hospitals here are not an option, don't know what else is, I get the message, I'm not worth it, do it yourself, just shape up or ship out......god if only I could ship out, anywhere is better than here
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
|