People "come back" from way worse stuff than that. What you did could even be put in the category of kinda "comical," compared to lots of other things that people do. It's natural for your s/o to be real mad. It will also be likely that he will get over it. I think you've got a bigger problem than this incident of damaging the hard drive. That would be the whole issue of his being so involved in porn and keeping video of past relationships. That sounds kind of creepy to me. You don't seem to feel to comfortable with it either.

You're a person who can't stand to be without a relationship. So when one ends, you jump into another real quickly . . . too quickly. It's like you are willing to have any guy who is willing to have you. Maybe you need to get more picky. It might take longer to find the right guy, but it might be worth the hunt.

If he has video of sex with an ex, he may have video of you and him being intimate. He may have filmed you without you even knowing it. Or he may want to do that in the future. Be careful of what this guy may try to talk you into. You describe him as "great." He doesn't sound so great to me, but I am not in your shoes. You are seeing yourself as the "bad guy" in all of this . . . someone who may not be worthy of him. I'm not so sure he is worthy of you.

If I were living with a guy, and he liked to amuse himself by looking at pics and videos of a previous woman in his life, I'ld do worse than you did. I'ld probably set the hard drive on fire. There wouldn't be room in the house for it and me. Either me, or the hard drive, would have to go. I'll bet a lot of women would feel that way. You are so focused on criticizing yourself for not being exactly what he wants you to be that you are not looking what do you want in a man . . . and have a right to expect.

You mentioned in your post that you do not trust this man. I think that is the wisest thing you said. You are worried that you don't deserve him??? I wonder if he deserves you. To be honest, I doubt it.