Bluebird - What's right is him respecting your feelings and being cooperative with you doing what feels right for you in the early stages of this relationship.

So he says he feels "unwanted and not first." Well, when children are involved, he isn't first, and he needs to grow up about that. We may be getting a little insight into why his last marriage didn't work out. There is absolutely nothing in the world wrong with how you would like to do these initial meetings. A mature guy would say, "Whatever makes you feel comfortable." Don't let this guy pressure you into what makes you feel uncomfortable. This is a test, make no mistake about it. Now is the time to set the precedent that you will not be pushed into things. Your reasons are very sound.

You show maturity to be concerned about his kids. What is even more important is what you feel is right for your child. Whatever you do about his kids, be sure you stick to your guns about your own child. If he beats you down on this, then he will go on to assert his desire over your child's welfare on other things. The smartest thing you can do is set the right precedent from the get go.

Before you go seeing yourself having a future with this guy, you need to see just how how he will behave toward your son. Him meeting your son once does not give you enough information. TBH, it really is too soon for you to be considering him as your "partner." He has yet to prove himself worthy of that. He's not off to a good start.