Dear T,

Everything is falling apart again....did you see this coming? I care and don't care all at once. How is that even possible? I won't see you for over a week now and I don't know that it even matters. But it does. Everything is a ****ing bind. You tell me there are solutions but then you don't tell me what they are. You seem compassionate but then sometimes it seems to all be an act. Nothing makes sense but then it does. I'm in a no mans land probably of my own creation. It doesn't matter......but it does all the same.

I think I'd have to see you every.single.day of my life to even make a dent into my ****ed up thought patterns but we both know that will never happen so I'll make do with maintaining.