My last manic episode was almost 6 months long, with the last 30 days in psychosis which landed me, once again, back in the hospital. I have relocated with my boyfriend of 9 years. Since my hospitalization, I have fallen in to deep depression with more anxiety than I have ever had to deal with. My family is done with me, aside from my mom. My children want me at a distance, but I guess I can't blame them, as every episode seems to affect them more and more. Even worse, my boyfriend really doesn't know what to do about my symptoms and even told me that had I not been stabilized, he was going to just bail. He wants me better, he just doesn't know what to do. I am under a doctor's care and have been a medication guinea pig since last Xmas. I am tired of fighting this illness and becoming withdrawn and have lost interest in everything and I just don't feel like climbing this hill anymore