Well, for first this is the third person I've seen. First male though, although I think he's good so I enjoy him. Only problem I have is that his approach can sometimes bug me to no end (then again, although I'm religious, he's in a pastoral counselling program).

Anyways, I should say I see him outside of sessions, he does his placement for his degree at my university in our chaplaincy... that's all well and good, I don't mind seeing him outside of an appointment. He seems to get more out of me that way anyways.

But ANYWAYS (Sorry, I tend to ramble) ... I asked him today if he felt that transference was necessary in a therapeutic relationship. I mean, I KNOW it is beneficial, but wasn't sure about the necessary thing because as I saw it - I never did that to him. So it mildly irked me when he went through all these ways (in general, without mentionning names and the like) he ensures that there is some level of transference.

So now I'm kicking myself. Turns out my psychology know-how and trying to not get close to him because he's gone in a few weeks AND didn't actually work. He's got in my head. blah

Funny how something that dumb can upset me, but I prize myself in usually being ahead of people I'm talking to, and realizing when they're trying to analyze me. I underestimated him, how could I be so stupid.

Actually another thing that upsets me about him ... Whenever I look at him, he's got this "comforting" aura around him and is always smiling and nodding his head and it just bugs me darnit. I cannot fathom how he thinks that A) makes me feel any better B) I think he's actually listening to me C) reassures me D) He can understand what I'm going through.

Or maybe I'm just making excuses to dislike him... just so that when he leaves me soon that it won't hurt as much as the last two people.

Why does this happen to me ... he knows I get too hurt by being abandoned and I HATE that I feel like this.