"I can't stand that I have to be responsible for making things ok for myself when I wasn't the one who f.ucked me up in the first place. So much loss.... I feel like I can't bear it sometimes."

Yeah I also sometimes feel overwhelmed by the unfairness of this. I can't believe that I have to do all the work when I'm not the one who made the mess. I just want to pout and kick and scream about it sometimes. And there are no guarantees and no timelines and few if any objective measures by which to gauge your progress. It's chaotic and lonely a lot of the time. Now I'm trying to formulate a sentence starting with "but" and finishing with some flowery cliché about hope and healing. I don't think I can muster it just now. I do hope it's helpful to know that you're not the only one though. Cause you're not.