Hey Henrydavidtherobot,

I am so very sorry about your negative experiences at work. It really sucks.

I actually had a very similar situation happen at a seasonal job just this last summer. Unfortunately it consumed me and I became very bitter and I was extremely vocal and reactionary. Eventually I left my job after ruining some great friendships at the workplace - and since then - I have carried the weight of their abuse on my shoulders... It got so bad that people quit the job when they were told they would have to work with me. What really got under my skin was that my rear car tires had, 'mysteriously,' gone flat. Twice. We all parked in the same parking lot - there was no chance it was a random thing... It really hit me hard. I felt terrible about myself. I felt like I had to rise up above it all somehow - but the only thing I could manage was to quit and find work elsewhere... Upon leaving the town where I worked - I realized that the company also screwed me over on my yearly bonus. Just a nice way to send their best employee off into the sunset. I called the owner of the company - telling him how @#$^@ up his company was due to the people they hire. It was a sad sad experience and I lost a lot of respect for humanity. I felt like I lose hope in humanity as well - like the human race was ultimately self destructive and the ruin of itself...

I agree with the general consensus that most people are capable of doing and saying terrible things. They are all human, they all have feelings. But some people just don't understand, how what they say and do affects others. On this front - I am sorry that you are being targeted by people at your workplace. The important thing to remember is to be yourself. It is extremely easy to feel anxious around those people at a job - that you know have been spreading gossip about you - and to explode and send a negative vibe their way. Try your hardest not to do that. It will only make you look like the culprit.

If anything - I suggest that you maintain clear communication with your superior - and no one else. There is no need to have other people in on how their crap affects you. If you allow them to bring out your worst - they will only see it as more information with which they can harm you psychologically or mentally... The less information you put out there for them - the more you can maintain control and stay one step ahead of their abuse.

It sounds to me that you are keeping your own identity in check - you being a great person with a good head on her shoulders and you don't deserve what is being shoved in your direction. That being said - fighting what other's put out at you is only going to make matters worse. I'm not saying don't stand up for yourself, I am saying that in the workplace - someone has to be that person who gets the brunt of the stick... There is a mechanism by which all social groupings and communities operate, and unfortunately - someone is typically ridiculed. Unfortunately - you are that person. But sometimes - reacting to their abuse is what makes it so easy for them to continue doing so - and if there is one thing that pisses off an abuser more than anything - it is to lose control of those they are so accustomed to abusing. By learning to appear unaffected by their abuse (despite actually feeling hurt) they will gradually leave you alone.

You just hang in there and be yourself, maintain as professional a persona at work as possible - have a genuine open door policy with your superior (in strict confidence) and you will slowly gain back the respect that you deserve.

You are loved!

I wish you the best.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz