Unfortunately, I don't believe we can choose who to do this work with. Our feelings are our feelings, and different people pull different transferences from us. And since the transference is ultimately in us, we carry it like a seed waiting to plant and bloom in other relationships. But I think if you can be transparent with your T about your fears, she should be able to help pace the work so that you don't destabilize. I didn't realize you'd been seeing her so frequently before her instituting a tighter frame (which I know feels like rejection, but really is the appropriate thing to do in order to keep you stable.) Seeing her so frequently probably did push your transference into overdrive. I guess it comes down to whether you trust and have faith in her abilities and her understanding of you; the work is there to be done, but do you believe that you can do it with her?