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Once again...your list said it all and more. Relationships go through hard times...but in no way is this healthy for you at all. You are not a loser - you held on to something in hopes it would get better. You are negotiating with yourself...we all do that when we are trying to figure out if we should hold on. You pain is real. As you learn to feel better about "who you are" you will attract more genuine people. You are suffering too much and it's up to you to want to change that..and look for resouces to help you through it...otherwise the next guy will be the same.
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany
“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge
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