I know exactly what that is like. Those thoughts have often comforted me. Everything you describe is totally severe depression.
I don't like to be preachy Fox and usually I am not but I really think it is time for you to reach out for help. I know you have been struggling with telling someone. We can't do this alone. If you were totally honest with your parents would they not want to get you professional help?
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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