I really don't know what my problem is. Even when I am busy doing something else, my attention eventually wanders to when and how I can SI next. This is the worst it's ever been, which is saying something.

Without giving details so as not to set off someone else, I should say my thoughts about "how" are becoming increasingly violent, and getting kind of scary.

I know you all told me I'm not a freak, but it would be that much harder for you to believe that if you knew what's running through my brain most of the day (and all of the night until I eventually wear myself out).

How do you turn off your mind?

Candy