I am so tired of feeling this way people! I know we all suffer together and that gives me some comfort to know in not alone. But why do I still feel so alone? I feel like I'm in a rabbit hole and I can't climb out. I feel trapped in this body with no where to run. If only I could run away from my brain I would!

I have loved ones around me but I still feel lonely. Does anyone else feel that way? I'm bp2 depression bpd, anxiety and ptsd. I met my fantastic bf over two years ago and I feel that he's too good to be true. He loves me so much. Only after one year together I was hospitalized and he still stuck with me. How am I so worthy of this love baffles me. I'm on lots of meds: geodon, lamictal, latuda, lexapro, neurontin and adderall for my adhd. I hate taking every single one. I'm sorry if I'm a downer but I needed to vent to get these feelings out of my head.

With all these issues I'm on ssd. Im hardly able to hold down a pt job. I have to work so I can afford my meds. Every couple years social security looks at people on ssd to see if they are still disabled. Are they serious!!?? I have life long illnesses that don't just magically disappear. I've been having regular panic attacks and I think it's linked to this thing with my ssd. I feel so insecure about my future. Do they not realize that by doing this to people can make their symptoms worse?!

I'm also dealing with the fact that my daughter has been smoking pot! She is such a good girl. Not defiant whatsoever. She just got caught up in the wrong crowd. She has like 6 close friends from childhood who would never smoke pot so I told her to cling to those friends...that the other ones don't have her best interest at heart. We had a good talk but I can't help but think that it's somehow my fault. Because she's grown up with a mi mother and she's self medicating. She has her own mental struggles. She has major social anxiety and regular panic attacks. I've had her in therapy for about 6 years just for the fact that she has a mi mother. I wanted to make sure she stayed on the right path besides growing up with me. Has my illness affected her so much that she's lost? Anyways I've rambled on about a few diff subjects. Has anyone else struggled with a lost teenager? Is it my fault? Has anyone else been investigated by ss to see if they're still disabled? Any feedback would help me so much. Thx for listening.

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