I don't think you are being paranoid. It sounds like his first choice was to stay in the marriage. It sounds like he only considered getting together with you, when he found that his wife was going to leave him. To me, that adds up to you being his second choice. Even if he doesn't get back with his wife, he may always resent you for his marriage coming undone.

Do you have any evidence that his wife really wants him back? She very well may not. If that is the case, then it looks like you may be the one who gets to have him. From what you are saying, I don't see any evidence that he loves either his wife or you.

If his wife is smart, she'll dump this guy and take any money she is entitled to by law. (I take it she has a kid by him.) Then you will get him and what is left over. That might not be such a prize. You might be worrying about the wrong thing. If he doesn't go back to his wife, that doesn't make you secure. A third woman may come into the picture.

Since you've not lived with this guy, there is a lot about him that you do not fully know. You are grateful to have saved texts from him to "back up" your claim that a relationship existed. This makes it sound like you have to have something "on him" to keep him where you want him. This is love?

If you have a job and a nice place to live, then he may have a further reason for wanting to be with you, since he is unemployed. Also, this may give his wife a further reason to not want him back. So you may be the one who wins him, but his wife may end up being luckier that she loses him. He doesn't sound like too great of a catch to me. Meanwhile the years are going by, and you get less young every day. All this time you have spent cornering him is time during which you might have gotten a man all of your own without the baggage. Someday you may regret that you didn't do that.

For the sake of your child, get what money that child is entitled to. Then ask yourself do you really want this guy, or is it just that you are finally having a chance to get what you used to want so bad. The older you get, the smaller the pool of men you will have to choose from. While you are still young, is this guy really the best you can do for yourself? Maybe he is. That's kind of too bad for you.