((Jane)), yes, I am sorry you just experienced an anniversary and it took you time to figure it out. That is what so many people don't understand about PTSD, it is almost as if the person grows a separate brain that they just wish would go away because it just causes too many challenges and gums everything up.

The only thing I can say Jane is that when this happens, just consider it another thing that hurt you that you are being reminded of so you can finally address it and process it in healthier ways.

ANY event that has a profound effect on a person will forever change them and will never be forgotten. It is just how we are designed, it had to be that way for us to survive and thrive. In fact the whole reason we even have a written/recorded history is because of the need to discuss events that have had profound affects be it on a personal level or that of a society. If you really think about it, there are all kinds of anniversaries that we actually make it a point and set that day aside to talk about it and even mourn it. Kennedy's assassination, the day Pearl Harbor was attacked, 9/11, the day the market crashed and began the great depression, oh, the list is endless really. So it isn't just "you" and if "you" have these reminders, that is pretty human and they do come up with a need to discuss them in hopes to process them better, learn from them, and yet keep moving forward.

I think it is important to realize that human beings in general all have some PTSD in a way. The difference between someone who has it to the degree you struggle is only a magnification of what many people at times deal with but are much better at disassociating from the emotional turmoil and anxiety. Everyone has off days for "some" reason, everyone has those moments where anger can be hard to control, most people experience at least some depression in their lives. But most people have figured out how to "just" and "ignore" which is, as you know, much more of a challenge with PTSD.