Sorry about the long message!

Well, here's my story:
I am 43 years old, I was diagnosed with Bipolar about 5-6 years ago.
I have been married for 14 years and with the same woman for 23.

Before we were married, when my wife and I moved in together, I had my first extremely manic episode. I had several depressions, but not many manic periods. I have had several depressions since that time also, and my wife has always been by my side. During that first manic episode what I did was horrible and totally out of character me: I had sex with a prostitute. After the mania, I could not understand why I did this and was totally confused. I was so ashamed that I never talked about it ever, with anyone. Well, we married in 2000. Things were going well, and I love my wife very much, and aside from this one episode before we got married, I had always been faithful.
In 2007, we had our first son. So advancing to 2009, I had a fallen into depression, and the guilt was too much, so I told her. I believe she suspected something was wrong anyhow. It goes without saying that I came very close to losing her. I had just been diagnosed with Bipolar around that time also. She ended up forgiving me and 3 years later we had our 2nd son. Again, I had been faithful to her all this time and never had the urge to do it again.
At the time I was diagnosed with the bipolar, I was put on medication and never had a manic episode or depression from that time 2009 until now.
A few years ago, I was also diagnosed with Sleep Apnea and I had tried everything to help stop it, and nothing worked.
about a month ago, we went on vacation to a resort and I drank, not heavily, but about 4 drinks per day, this went on for 2 weeks. I thought that maybe the medication had something to do with my sleep apnea, because the apnea started around the same time as I started taking the medication. When we arrived back home, in my brilliant wisdom, I decided to reduce my medication.
Well, that is when I went through another manic episode and surfed the internet for prostitutes and emailed the numbers to my office computer. My wife, found out and she was again obviously extremely hurt and she said it was over. And to tell you the truth I thought it was too. Well, I explained too her, that I had reduced my medication and that perhaps along with the alcohol, It had triggered another manic episode. Well I immedietly started to get anxious and I fell into a dark depression. I apologized several times, sent her several emails explaining how genuinely remorseful I am, how much I love her, and that it was not the "real me" who did that, I was not myself. I also explained and I truly believe that I would have come to my senses and deleted those phone numbers by the time I would have had the opportunity to act on it, which would have been several days if not weeks later.
Fast forward about a week and she started hugging me, She tells me often that she loves me, and we have made love several times. She has told me that she is indeed hurt, but in the process of forgiving me and says that is willing to give me one more chance. She even has said a few times that my episode must have happened because of the mix of alcohol in my system and the reduction of the medication. We have, since then (her included) been more affectionate than ever and she is even making plans for a road trip together this summer.

Here is my concern: I am wondering if her actions are truly genuine and that she has really decided to forgive me, give me another chance and move forward with our relationship. Keep in mind this is the second (2) serious incident. My anxiety and depression is through the roof and all I keep obsessing over, is that this is a mask and that she is going to change her mind in the future and want to separate. This terrifies me to no end because I love her with all my heart we do everything together and she and my family mean the world to me.

Now I don’t say that I don’t deserve to feel so anxious and insecure, I really screwed up. Heck, right now I feel so guilty and ashamed for hurting her again, that I feel like I don’t deserve to be loved or happy again. And I don’t feel like I will ever be happy again or get rid of this anxiety and severe depression. Do you think that I am making a bigger thing out of this than it is?
It's just that it took less than a week for her to attitude and behaviour towards me to change back to being affectionate, and decide to give me a chance. Is this behaviour something I should be worried about, or is this really a good sign that she really does love me? Do you think my obsessing and insecurity are just a symptom of my anxiety and depression? Is my insecurity and doubt of her actions and words a symptom of my self-hate, doubt, guilt and shame?

Is it possible and highly likely that she is completely genuine in her actions and response. And that if I don’t do anything stupid again, that with time and proof of my action I could regain her trust and we could enjoy a happy life together? Can a woman really fake those actions and that kind of sentiment? Or is this my mind playing games on me? Can I feel a bit better that I have not lost her for good?

PLEASE NOTE: I am very interested and appreciative of feedback from anyone, but also especially women, as I would imagine they would have a more insight as to what my wife is thinking right now.

Thank you so much for reading,

AnxiousOne