Yeah I do this a lot and would do it a whole lot more if I had the chance. You saying it's keeping you alive is how I see it too. On days when I'm really struggling and can't trust myself and see sense enough I literally send myself to bed and make myself stay there even if I'm not tired.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our own ways of coping with depression, I reckon there's a whole load of people who do this too