The state you're in is pretty normal for someone who has only been clean for 7 months or so. Recovery takes a very very long time. Also, when someone who has (or has had) mental/emotional difficulties in the past, they are most likely to reappear once sober.

After I sobered/cleaned myself up, symptoms of my mental illness began to appear. I had no idea I was suffering from anything prior to that (but then again, I had started partying heavily in my early teens. Drinking seemed to allow me to be the person I wanted to be. It also numbed me out from all the pain I was going through as a kid - I was a perfect candidate for substance abuse.

Looking back, I now see that I had suffered from severe anxiety and depression from a very early age. Drinking and drugging for so many years prevented me from being diagnosed with anything even though continual SI and suicide attempts were made throughout my teens right through to, well, today (it's part of my illness and I will most likely have to fight it for the rest of my life).

It is not uncommon what you are going through, especially if you were on hard drugs.

Keep going to NA and/or AA; find another counsellor, and try not to isolate too much (as this pattern of behaviour can manifest itself deeply and quickly).

You were right to stay away from your partying friends - they will only pull you back to where you were before unless they truly respect what you are trying to accomplish (but I am sure you are aware from meetings that not many "friends" stick around when others are in crisis, especially when it cramps the partying).

And, you hit the nail right on the head in your last paragraph. When I cleaned up, I realized that I had no idea how to socialize normally. I felt exactly like you do now. The unfortunate thing is, I did not take steps to re-learn how to socialize without the use of some sort of substance. I now find myself a prisoner in my own home and of my mind.

DON'T LET YOURSELF FOLLOW THIS PATH. Help yourself NOW. You still have your whole life ahead of you, so make a plan to learn how to change your behaviours, lest you be in my position 20 years from now.

GET HELP AND STICK WITH IT! THIS CRAPPY STAGE WILL PASS, I PROMISE YOU. YOU JUST NEED MORE TIME. No matter how hocky NA or AA may sound to you, give it a honest shot - you may be surprised just how much healing can take place when you work it. It took a while, but the burdens that were lifted from me probably saved my life.

Recommit yourself to your studies, find the help you need, just do not do nothing. If you can't find support right away, there is always Psych Central. Lots of help here to you get untwisted!!!

JUST DON'T STOP SEARCHING FOR HELP!!!

Hang in there, and know that you are not alone.