Dear Wondering Why,
ah, depression. I wish no one had to suffer from it. No one should have to feel like it's unrelenting, and never ever lets up... I wish you could find some relief. I'm hoping you can find Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or something +/- meds that help. But finding something that helps is a lot of work...

re: cutting, it's addictive. I can't talk about it here, but I've had it for a long time and it just gets worse, and after a while, the instant relief doesn't happen any more but the urges to do it still are there.