Hello, bluebird14, I think you are absolutely right to consider his childrens feelings. Getting to know them a little at first will make YOU feel more relaxed in their presence. Descending upon them unannounced could make them resent you. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was lucky in that her 13 and 15 year old daughters totally accepted me. Do try and relay your feelings to your boyfriend again, he should understand. I hope it all works out for you, good luck, Dionysius.