I still don't believe your a freak, and nothing is going to make me change my mind... trust me. I still have a hard time convincing myself I'm not a freak though. Every time I tell people more and more about me and they stick with me as a friend I am a little amazed as to why they don't run away.

I do know how you feel and I wish I could tell you how to make your brain shut off... I wish I could tell mysellf too. Meds help me some, and quitting has helped a lot. But I still think about it some.

Good luck and I hope things get a little easier soon.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))