In your explanation - you've mentioned that you and he couldn't speak to each other without a fight starting. What's all this fighting about? Drinking? Then he's gone (been on a dating site). Yet - 13 years together. Is that 13 years of accusations? He apologizes. You quickly take him back - now feeling miserable. Are there some other options? Would it be an idea for the two of you to go to a couples counsellor?