Actually, what's important is that he defer to your wishes on this. Whether he likes it or not isn't even that important. He may just be too dumb to know that your wishes are the proper way of going about these plans.

I don't yet see a "huge" red flag. I do see a moderate size red flag. It takes time to know someone . . . time spent in the presence of that person, not a bunch of time texting each other. You have to stop trying to look into a crystal ball to figure out what this guy is like. After your spend some time with him, you will have a much better idea. That's the only way to get to know someone.

He does sound like he's got anger issues. If that bothers you, nothing wrong with you backing out now. I think you went and made too many plans ahead of time, without seeing how the first one works out.

Just be careful. Make sure you have the means of getting away from him, if something goes wrong. Keep that in mind, if you go on a trip with him. I'm not a believer in making oneself dependent in any way on someone you do not really know that well. Always have an escape route planned.

Despite whatever story he gave you about his wife not lovin' him enough, I'll bet she had some darn good reasons for calling it quits with him. Keep an open mind. He's had a year to feed you a bunch of propaganda. Soon you'll start to discover the reality of who he is. It may not be so good.