I am lying in bed shaking. Thinking of every single mistake I have ever made. Thinking about what lies ahead of me. There is nothing there. I have been in bed for two years total. Yet I'm a coward. The physical pain of doing it has stopped me so far. Why don't I just go for it? There is nothing, there is no one. I am so tired. I want to do it and I'm too much of a coward. Whoever said suis were cowards have no idea what they're talking about.