So sorry you are feeling so lonely and sad. It is something I have faced as well. I tend to think a lot of thoughts like "I should do such and such" like reach out to people, but that's kind of a nagging way of talking to myself so it never works, just makes me feel more like a failure.

I am doing better this week and am able to do more things to cope, like some walking and I made a lunch date with a friend for next weekend. I remembered someone once told me to make myself do a couple things even if I didn't feel like it and it would help me get a little more momentum going.

Honestly though I think the main reason I am feeling better is I have been on an increased dose of Wellbutrin for the last 3 weeks. I feel that way because after about a week of getting gradually better, I thought I was having side effects so I stepped the dose back down - and slid right into depression again. So I once again took the recommended dose and I am not experiencing side effects as I thought I was, I just found out my thyroid level is a little high so that was causing me some physical symptoms.

Freakishly complicated dealing with all of this. I take a lot of medication. It does seem to help though so I am thankful for that.

I hope you find a way to get better, just take care of yourself and don't be defined by the illness, you are more than just depression, you are a valuable and necessary person.