hi again sky we pain sufferers do share common ground ,even though i have had back problems for 30 years i somehow think i am going to be fully well again what this does is that when my pain is manageable i push myself usually too far then ouch,it seems inevitable that i will end up more disabled as i am getting new pains day by day ,yet still i think i'm going to be well again!about 4 years ago i went through a bad patch for about 18 months could barely walk meds apart from morphine wouldn't touch it yet somehow it eased on its own no one knew why .i live in constant fear of becoming that disabled again but i think that is not in my constant awareness,because none can see my pain i somehow i feel i am cheating on life.the medical establishment in the uk i feel take a black and white view on people with intermittment health problems like mine if you are seen on a good day then you are a malingerer ,on a bad day ,sorry there is nothing we can do ,talk about blaming the patient!!! i'm sure my depression/anxiety do stem from this issue,how can i be kind to myself and stop beating myself up for the system and myself not being perfect? i've not got an answer to it so far still living in hope,hugs jeff