((((((Alexandra)))))

I'm so sorry. It sounds like the crappy session just ruined things for you the last few days. I bet the next time you have a good session you'll be feeling much better.

It's the worst when you're really psyched up about a session. I remember a little while back I had a day off work (it was a holiday or something) the same day that I was going to therapy. I was so psyched that I was going to get there all early and had thought about everything I wanted to say and all that. Well, I headed down to the bus stop all bright and early. And you know what? The bus drove right past me. I don't know how he didn't see me since I was standing right under the stop. And then I couldn't find a cab and it took ages to get other transportation. So instead of being early I was way late. I had never been late before and wasn't sure whether to walk up to his office or not. So I didn't, and it was a while before he thought to come down and find me. So we started about 25 minutes late and we started on the topic of why I was such an unassertive loser (my words obviously, not his) that I didn't even have the nerve to walk up to his office. All my beautiful plans ruined.

Later after I left therapy I started feeling completely hopeless. I called him and told him I felt hopeless, that I couldn't learn from therapy, etc. etc. But it was all a mood thing because the session had gone so badly. By the next time I had stopped feeling that way -- was even able to talk about my lack of assertiveness and how I'd work on changing that, etc. But for a few days there I generalized everything into bad and negative because the session had gone so poorly.

I guess my point is I think you'll find things are better once you recover from the bad session. I hope you're feeling a little better already today.

Sidony