I can definitely see that I am making gains on things, thanks for pointing it out though OE. I do know also that the flight and fight response is still incredibly strong within me, and I think will remain until I can actually process the historical stuff that still knocks me around. (The list appears huge though!)

I notice now I am able to tolerate the terror I feel sometimes.......and in fact just a couple of weeks ago I was able to verbalise it to my classmates. I was triggered beyond belief, was crying had difficulty breathing etc...in class.....but because of the nature of that particular class it was ok for them(not me), and this time I tolerated the extreme anxiety enough to not actually run from class this time. Progress!

I then explained to them, so they might begin to understand me and perhaps others, that I felt like a huge tiger was running at me and I was terrified and my entire body & mind was screaming RUN RUN RUN......but I am trying to manage it and stay in the moment. (Even now thinking about that moment I begin to feel the panic rise). I saw nods of understanding, and compassion amongst my classmates and lecturer. I hope it helped others. It certainly helped me to feel a tiny bit more in control. It was a friend in class who even said to me, wow that's progress Jane, you didn't run! LOL.

That particular time took me over a week to feel better physically....this is hard on our bodies as well as our minds huh?