Hey forever,

Welcome to the forums. And we don't judge.

I am sorry that you are dealing with a breakup. It sounds like you were very attached to your boyfriend and we all know how that can be for us borderlines! I hope that you can remain strong in transitioning to a more solo lifestyle and I hope you take the time to care for yourself and learn about your new-found diagnosis. I can tell you that this forum is a great place to explore your illness and come to terms with any questions that you may have about it. Just remember that we are not our illness. We borderlines are perfect people who deserve the love we so desperately desire. And given that you've just had a tough breakup with a boyfriend you loved - it makes sense that you are showing borderline tendencies. Given time and due healing - you may not show as strong as symptoms are you currently are.

To answer your question - I don't have daddy issues, but I do have mommy issues. I do believe that having issues with our parents is central to the borderline issues. Whether they be subconscious memories or not - I think having daddy issues is not something unheard of in relation to borderline personality disorder, nor is having mommy issues.

Once in therapy I spoke out words that just - felt right in the moment. While crying I told my female therapist that I wished she was my mother. It brought out intense emotions. I became attached to my therapist - and upon saying goodbye I felt like I was missing a massive chunk of me... Like I wouldn't find that mother figure ever again... Strange thing is - if there was one parent who I had a close relationship with as a child - it was my mother. She guarded us from our father who was an alcoholic. There was more verbal abuse than physical - but it was severely dysfunctional.

Now I am in my late twenties and I have more issues with my mother than my father. I plead with my mother to talk to me about things - but she leaves and doesn't care to listen anymore... To me it means she doesn't care - which of course triggers my borderline things.

Perhaps you are doing with partners what I do with female therapists...

Perhaps you are replicating a father figure in others - because in actual fact: you don't have a father that meets your needs. Thus, you seek out partners that can fulfill those fatherly needs - because your fatherly needs are not being met by your biological father...


In short: Perhaps you need a better relationship with your biological father...

Thanks,
HD7970ghz