Hi all, how is everyone today. I have some tough questions and if nobody can answer thats okay. I had a home study done today; a lady whom came in my home to study what I am like with my kids and everyday life. I banged heads a couple of times with her but I stood for what I belive in. She was quite rude on a couple of occasions towards my kids and interupted when I was dealing with them. I put a stop to it because last time I checked, they are my kids. Anyway, we have deadlines to when these custody issues are to be completed by. Its supposed to be done by the end of August. I am totally falling apart emotionally and physically; if I don't get help I won't be "around" much longer; mentally. On a few occasions today I got so dizzy I lost my balance (I assume from the eating, not sleeping and stress). She picked up on it but I tried to cover it up but saying I am a clutz. Truth was I can not function anymore. I finally realize that I need help but do I put my health (in all aspects) on the line or do I try to get the understanding from the courts and see if it can be temperarily post-poned. What is really hard is the fact that I have not dealt with the loss of my baby; its hard to when all of this is going on. The last time I saw my doctor he felt that I was avoiding dealing with this and this was why I am so depressed. He feels that I am self abusing because of whats going on inside. I have told him some things and he knows that I am in trouble but I refused his help (up till this point). The fact is if I keep going this way; I will die. If not by my eating by my mental state. I need help NOW not a month from this time. I can't do this on my own. My kids are at their grandparents from tomorrow until next Sunday; ( I have to take them and pick them up; its a 3hr drive) I wanted to take the opportunity to get help while they are gone. Thats why I made an appointment with my doctor next week. I was going to cancel but I just dont know if I should. If I tell my doctor everything; my thoughts and potential harm; he will not let me walk away from it. But if I am not honest, I will not get better.
I know this is tough and I am not looking for someone to tell me what I need to do; I just want some opinions. It would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks all.
Elizabeth