I agree that some people's convoluted impressions on what is cowardly is pretty damn off... to end things by ones hand takes a lot of courage.... The unknown, the complications of a failed attempt and long term damage that could come with it... as well as many other factors that the ignorant would not even compute in their flippant expression of disappointment.

BUT

To keep going despite the horribleness that afflicts us, to fight the intrusive thoughts and to 'hope' even when things seem hopeless, that things will ease down/improve/cease to worry us... that takes a hell of a lot of courage too... especially when we're fighting with a faulty self preservation button that seems inate in 'normal' people.

So no, I do not deem you a coward… I see you as a fighter and I commend the fact that you’re still here to post, to share and though you may not recognise it, reaching out to* others to make your road a little steadier.

Even the bravest need the help of others now and again.