Memories are coming up because they need "out", Hon. You're not faking it! My abuse happened 60 yrs ago and a couple of weeks ago, I was flooded with memories and flashbacks. The body memory is AWFUL!! It tends to make you feel guilty for having it. You DO feel vulnerable, you DO need attention, but the right kind. Please know that it wasn't your fault. It was the perpetrator's fault! You are NOT dirty, the perpetrator is.

You DO need the attention of a therapist because they know more how to help you. You can talk to us here, let it out, but the drawback with that is that we're not there with you to help you through one of these "rants." The rant is perfectly normal. Nothing to be ashamed about. We've all gone through it.

Take some deep, relaxing breaths and know that you are safe now. Stay in the NOW... then ask for help in 3D. You also need someone in 3D that knows what they're doing to help you get through this.

My heart goes out to you. I've been where you are.