I'm not reading the other replies because I want to give mine without their feedback possibly "tainting" my natural instinct.

I'm a 33 year old woman - married to an amazing man for almost 9 years. We have a 5 year old and 2 1/2 year old.

I never had even thoughts of being faithful until just over a year ago. Since this is your post and not mine I'll keep it short but I started emailing and out of state coworker, it escalated over the year. In Dec my husband only found an email exchange between me and the guy that was sexual in nature. That's it - just me saying what I wanted him to do to me, but he lives out of state so there wasn't any physical stuff (from my husband's understanding) going on. My husband almost left me and I begged for him to stay. I don't know why actually.

He did and I promised to never contact the guy again. Two weeks later he found an email I had sent asking how his family was doing, etc. Not at all sexual in any way but it was contact with the man. My husband was going to leave. I convinced him to stay.

We were doing very well for a few weeks - he was forgiving me, we felt close. I went out of town for work and my husband found out the other man was there. He was going to move my stuff out before I got home but again I talked him out of it. At that point our marriage was very broken and we implemented a new marriage style to keep us together.

Less than 2 weeks ago I got caught emailing this man AGAIN. Now this was the first time I actually cared about my family completely. The first time I didn't really want anything to do with the other guy (I was bored and had no one else to email with for about 1/2 an hour). The first time I didn't want my husband to leave. Our marriage had been AMAZING for two weeks straight prior to this. I was sober when I did it. I have NO excuse this time. It was the only time my meds were working.

He's staying. He has no trust in me. We're doing well but every single day one of us cries. However, he wants to be with me and I desperately want to be with him. We want to raise our kids together. We want to be together. He just doesn't want to be hurt.

The reason I told you all that is to show that yes, your wife's actions may be completely sincere. It's not the first time you did something like this, but also not the 4th. She may be able to forgive quickly at this point. Maybe she did her research or saw her own counselor and realized what could be responsible for your behavior and she's understanding. Maybe she realizes what she'd lose by losing you and she's not willing to lose all of that. Maybe she really does love you with all of her heart and body and she has decided it's not worth holding on to the pain and hurt and she let that go and is showing you that in her actions.

I don't know her, or you. I could be completely wrong about all of this. However, in my opinion, unless you have reason to think she has an ulterior motive in this, try to trust her. She was hurt deeply and it's possible she is letting that go and moving on to forgive you. Work with her to let her