As for what to do to get her back....I ask myself this all day every day. I've asked my husband this countless times.

For us, and our situation it's different than yours, but I'll tell you what I'm doing anyway.

The only thing my husband has told me is "put yourself in my shoes, what would you want from me?" So that's what I do. All day every day I say, if I felt completely betrayed and broken by the person that meant the most to me, what would I want her to do? I'd want her to apologize. I'd want her to tell me she wants me and needs me and loves me. I'd want her to show me those things. I'd want her to go out of her way to show how much she cares.

So I do that. I send texts throughout the day with anything from "I love you" to a message apologizing for what I did. At this point I can't apologize enough. I tell him I know he's not going to forgive me quickly and I'm not going to stop saying sorry. I tell him even though we had a great night, I don't expect it to make up for what happened and I apologize again. It's all completely heart felt.

I also am an open book (FINALLY). I don't play on my phone at all anymore (that's where all my emails where found). I leave my phone face up on the table if I am on it and put it down so he can see the screen I was last on. I tell him everything about my thoughts and feelings.

If he's having a hard day I push away the fact that I'm in a bad mood and I comfort him.

I'm physical with him. I hug him and hold his hand and touch him and squeeze his butt when I walk by.

We are making love daily (which has NEVER happened in our relationship) and are really spicing it up because we want to. Not because I feel like I have to.

I am looking at our marriage with new eyes - seriously. I feel the love for him I felt when we first met and I'm making it obvious.

Does he still hurt? Yes. Does he have nightmares about my lies? Yes. Does he wake up Easter morning feeling betrayed an unable to enjoy the holiday with our kids? Yes. All because of what I did. But instead of feeling like crap, I'm pushing that feeling away and using my emotion to be productive and show him I'm sorry and that he's not making a mistake by staying.

I recommend surprise gifts too - I left candy and a card on his windshield one day last week. Drop off flowers at her work one day, etc.

Most of all, respect her. If she doesn't want to be touched, don't force it. My husband desperately wanted it so it was key for us, but if I were in his shoes I probably wouldn't.

Good luck.

Also - I'm in a hypo-manic phase right now, between that and my meds I have a lot of energy and motivation. If I were not in this phase, I'm not sure how things would be going..............