I think people screaming accusations makes anyone/everyone miserable and a bit anxious and does not have anything to do with "us" and what we may/may not have learned in therapy that helps us. The only thing I have found that helps with screaming people is remembering that it is about them, not about you -- people who know/love/care about you do not scream at you. Getting that out of the way (that the screaming is not about me) lets me listen to what they're screaming about and imagine what their problem might be.

I had a boss scream at me that I was not doing something I was supposed to be doing and quit complaining, etc. but I knew it wasn't "mine" (I'd done it, he read the schedule wrong) so I just kept telling him the "facts" as simply as I could until he could hear what I had to say, look and find his problem, and then he apologized (profusely :-) and we carried on. However, all the time he was screaming was unpleasant and scary to me so you are not unusual in your reaction, it's just that you probably have not lost anything unless you believe the other person in which case you did not make any progress in the first place :-) The only progress to be made is that other people screaming is about other people screaming, not about you. You screaming is about you.