It is good you are realizing this as an issue. My sobriety has been such a wonderful thing in my life. Today I truly feel like I never want to drink--I don't want to be an active drunk or drug addict. I am not going to lie--the first part of getting sober is rough--harder than heck--but it is so worth it. Things get so much better. For me, "non alcoholic" beer or "near beer" was not an option. It made me hang onto old patterns. I found out not drinking was just the tip of the iceberg--my whole life began to change the longer I stayed sober. I highly suggest soda or juice or vitamin water or anything but "near beer." I have also found antabuse to be an important part of staying sober. i have been taking it for over a year. It prevents me from impulsively drinking. If I want to "safely" drink I have to go a couple weeks to let it get entirely out of my system. That gives me enough time to think about what I am doing and to get ahold of my support network. Good for you for taking the first step and realizing you have a problem. I hope you can work through this because sobriety is wonderful and worth all the work. IM me anytime. Good luck.