Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebird14
This isnt the first time hes gone quiet. I have addressed it being an issue and he has said its something he needs to work on. but then it just happened again as we see from this and its not good. I delt with this with my ex.. he would just walk out of the room and then pretend nothing happened. over and over again. My ex had a drinking problem and that was bulk of why i left, but the walking away or hurtful comments left me feeling guility. I feel that alot now again- like I am repeating the circle.
The long distance is very hard.. are main fights are over him getting upset i don't send texts enough telling him i miss him or when I am home at night from work with my son or weekends I just don't have time to talk long until my son is in bed and says I dont send him texts enough during the day to show im thinking of him. .. My ex is not in this state and only sees his son 1x a year for a week so I have no issues if I need to move.but saying that I have NO TIME to me.. I dont have that every other weekend arrangment.. and yes he has told I would be the one to move (cuz of his kids) but I am not at the point even though he is because i have doubts. Now granted I have the better job ..but I understand the kids.
Yes I agree maybe I should bring it up but thing is when I brought it up the other night this was the SECOND time.. the first time I brought it up week ago..he told me he didnt want to take a trip anymore and that I ruined the trip for him because of my thought process on this and then it started a fight into how I dont give him attention and this was one more reason to not feel loved.. then we were on the verdge of ending it and i caved in.... then I brought up the topic again as he made a comment he was working extra to make money for the trip and that is how it came full circle again as I voiced my thoughts on sleeping arrangements.
I suppose I can bring up again as yes I am playing the game back .. but I hate it as he knows he was the one that got upset and stopped talking but I get he prob doesnt agree and doenst want to fight but this is a topic we need to address and if we cant thats not good.
|
Firstly....
you are not playing a game!!! Get that out of your head. It is what he WANTS you to believe, and he will say that to you when you do bring it up...if you wait too long.
(the first time I brought it up week ago..he told me he didnt want to take a trip anymore and that I ruined the trip for him because of my thought process on this and then it started a fight into how I dont give him attention ...then we were on the verdge of ending it and i caved in.... then I brought up the topic again as he made a comment he was working extra to make money for the trip)
I'll say one thing...he's good. He's nearly as good as my ex. You ruined the trip for him? Why?? because you had concerns? --simply childish--and then he has to add after you 'cave' that he was working extra hours for the trip....so you feel guilty too?
The controlling issue...you don't text enough, you don't show you love him enough....oh my god....girl....run...don't walk. Run. He is exactly like my ex....completely. You're already starting to doubt yourself. Eventually, you will never understand what you did wrong, but you will always BE wrong as far as he is concerned.
My advice for what it's worth......he's dangerous to your self-esteem, your self worth, your mental health, and quite possibly toxic to both you and your son.
Run.