My Intrusive Thoughts (OCD) (Which I will not disclose what they are) are causing me to not be able to deal with people. I can barely watch television , My Movie collection has to be in a certain order and certain movies can touch other movies or I panic. Leaving the house and being in public makes me wanna curl into a ball.
I just got home from being out with a friend and I had a huge panic attack . The thought of even having intrusive thoughts cause me to go over the edge into a break down I took 1 and half xanax today and I still feel on edge. my anxiety is horrible and the past week has been so hard to deal I just wanna stay in a corner of my room and sleep the depression, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety is only getting worse. I am on antidepressants , mood stabilizer, and xanax (anxiety med) and my doctor recently increased my dosage of my antidepressant but my bad days started a day before the dosage was increased.
My therapist ditched 2 appointments set up ahead of time claiming they were never set up. I watched her set them up! Now I have to wait 3 more days but I set it up over a week ago and I checked for cancellations and there are none my last therapist sent me to my current cause my current was suppose to have more time with me , that was crap.
I am so frustrated and hurt ... my family doesn't even know how bad I feel I can smile and two seconds later I realize I am hiding everything I am going through.
I just want to be better to feel better I journal and I take my beds I talk it out and I am not getting better I can't even focus on that OCD book cause my attention spand is shot...

I am so tired of this..