SUMMARY: I desperately need resources to get help to protect our family from my violent, abusive, dangerous child. I don't know where to turn but this situation is going to end in someone getting seriously injured, maybe even killed.

I am here because I am completely desperate and don't know how to get help. My 9yo son (adopted as an infant) has a mood disorder of some sort—his psychiatrist says that Mood Disorder NOS or Intermittent Explosive Disorder would fit. He periodically throws violent temper tantrums. And I mean VIOLENT. In December, he hit me with a baseball bat and broke my hand. On other occasions I have had to seek medical care for injuries he has inflicted, including to my hand and to my teeth. His weapons of choice are softball-sized landscaping rocks (from the neighbors' yards) that he throws at the windows of our house (he has broken over a dozen windows) and at me. He is also violent towards my husband, but because my husband works and I am a stay at home mom, I am more often available as a target of his violence. He sometimes hits his little brothers (ages 6 and 4, our biological children) and once left such bad bruises on the younger one that his preschool called CPS. He has picked up and thrown knives before, although so far he has not used them in a serious way. I am sure that it is only a matter of time. He regularly (during tantrums) threatens to kill me, my husband, and the baby I'm carrying, and I believe him. At school his behavior is good although his academic performance is terrible.

My son sees a psychiatrist (whom he has been seeing since age 4 for severe ADHD) about once a month. We have tried several medications in many combinations and dosages. No medication regimen has had much effect on the tantrums; at best, we have gotten them down to once every week or so, instead of once every day or two. He is currently taking Zyprexa and Trileptal and has taken lithium in the past, in addition to ADHD medication.

The tantrums are always in response to not getting his way, but USUALLY when he does not get his way, he can cope. It's almost completely unpredictable when a potential trigger will actually trigger a tantrum. The triggers could be things that come from us (i.e. me or my husband), such as routine discipline or being told no when he asks for something, or it could be something completely out of our control. For example, once a tantrum was triggered when his toy accidentally fell down the storm drain.

My son's tantrums usually last between 30 minutes and an hour and a half, and by the time we would be able to get him calm enough to travel safely with him in the car, the tantrum would be over, so we have never taken him to the hospital so far. A hospitalization at that point would be pointless because he would be back to acting like a normal little boy, until the next time he throws a tantrum.

Two days ago he had a big tantrum in which he broke two windows and hit me in the back with a rock, leaving an angry bruise. I told him that if he picked up one more rock, I would call the police. (When he is outside throwing rocks, there is no way I can stop him; he runs faster than me, and I am 6 months pregnant now). This stopped him a couple of times, but finally he dared to pick one up and I dialed 911 on the cordless phone. This was at least the third or fourth time the police have been called. He's afraid of the police (don't know why, they have never touched him) so he immediately ended his acute tantrum and switched to crying and cowering. The police officer talked to him, but again reiterated what I already knew, that they are essentially helpless with a child under age 10. After that age, they can do "a few things," but they can't take a child to juvenile hall until age 12. We almost took him to the hospital that night because he was taking longer than usual to completely calm down. He has not been hospitalized so far.

I just got a call back from his psychiatrist about this incident (it took a day and a half) and he wants to make yet another tweak to the medications (this time taking away one of the ADHD meds, too). He says he will be in close contact all weekend (today is Friday).

My husband and I (especially me) have reached the point where unless there is a sudden DRASTIC improvement, we don't see how he can continue to live in our home. Or, frankly, in any home situation. He is just too violent and dangerous when he throws a tantrum, and the tantrums are unpredictable. A home situation cannot be made safe and free of potential weapons (he uses ANYTHING at hand, and like I said, his favorite weapons are large rocks that he gets from people's front yards). There are too many vulnerable people (my other sons, and my pregnant self) that he can seriously injure. I honestly believe that it's only a matter of time before he sends someone to the hospital (actually he already did, when he broke my hand) or even kills someone in the family. Every day he gets stronger. Soon there will be a newborn baby for him to target. Even with our private insurance I doubt we could afford to pay for a long-term hospitalization. WHAT CAN WE DO??????