i'm a 17 year old girl and i don't know how much longer i can take of feeling this complete emptiness and dark sadness..i was on lithium for a year but just got taken off of it due to thyroid problems...now i feel like i'm at rock bottom again..depressed and nowhere to hide. i cant run from my own thoughts, and i keep giving into them by having panic attacks..but i can't help it. these thoughts consume me..and i've been depressed for about a month now..for no reason at all. i have 1290489224982 thoughts 24/7 and i'm in rapid cycling as i type this..ive been isolating myself from my life. i feel absent to my own life and it's sad because i know what it is like to be somewhat "happy" .. i just dont know how much longer i can take of these evil thoughts trying to take over me i hate being thrown on medication after medication..i just want to be normal. i want to be like the people in my school..the ones who can actually keep friends and not end up fighting with them because they dont have to deal with a disorder. once again, i'm alone, isolated in my room because my mom cares about me so much and doesnt want me to get in trouble out there..and i dont blame her becauuse i know that im in no position to be out in the real world feeling like this. idk i just want my life back and it feels like an eternity for that to happen..at times my thoughts take over and thats the reason for my scars and bruises all over my body, i just i dont know anymore i dont