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I added this to my daily email tonight:
"Hi all,
as I got so many messages after my email this morning I think I will update you all at once instead of replying to each message. I had a long day today with hospital appointments and therapy, so I haven't been home for long.
Yes, I was able to eat finally, although I just couldn't get the porridge down. I decided on Italian bread and Nutella and it worked. Well, enough to get something into my stomach without throwing up immediately.
At the hospital I was given some stronger painkillers, which I feel are a curse and a blessing at the same time. They make me feel chatty and a little high (I hate that high feeling so much, because it feels too good!) but they do take care of a good amount of pain and that is good.
I had a good therapy session, although what we talked about was everything but easy. We were talking about when it's time to let go, and I find that so very hard. I feel like there is a battle going on inside me. One side wants to fight like crazy, the other side wants to give up and give in to what's going to happen. Right now the fighting side is winning triumphantly but I fear what will happen if the other side get's too strong.
But well, I am not there yet. But my therapist definitely made me think and I know that is good and bad at the same time.
I will write more tomorrow and thank you so much for being with me during this time.
With all my love,
Amelia"
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*** Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.***
Mahatma Ghandi
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