I think there are a few issues, and that they may well be resolvable if you continue.
She crossed some useful boundaries with all her financial meddling and offering dual roles.
Additionally, she's seeing you for free, for a significant period.
Further, you're experiencing some relatively recent and troublesome transference.
And very significantly, you're experiencing withdrawl from her as you've cut back significantly. (You know that I can empathize 1000% with that one.)

Given all these difficulties, I actually think the very best thing is to stay the course, hold out for a month, and give yourself time to process everything and get used to the current routine, and assess your feelings and functioning at that time.

Big hugs. I'm sorry it's so rough right now. I can empathize with a lot of what you've written, but I think that the relationship becoming more stable, even if the stability includes more limits, may not be the disaster it feels like today. I've seen those feelings resolve in my own experience, and that the relationship can still be wonderful, but it takes time to really let things settle enough to decide. I just encourage you to give yourself a little time, and not decide in the midst of so much confusion, upset and change.