Leah, thank you so much. And I know you totally get how hard it is to have dramatically less contact. Bajillions of hugs to you.

I know what you're saying is very true and that it could be useful to plough on and reasses in a month or so. But I'm actually starting to get distressed by the idea of continuing. It makes me feel more lonely than if I stopped, because it's like she's there but not in the same way. This is someone who used to text me to say she was sleeping with the phone by her head if I needed to call during really bad nights. It's like doing therapy with somebody else now. She doesn't tell me that she loves me anymore. Fair enough, I'm a big girl. But I don't deserbe to put myself through another instance of someone deciding they don't love me after all.