Quote:
Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
Leah, thank you so much. And I know you totally get how hard it is to have dramatically less contact. Bajillions of hugs to you.
I know what you're saying is very true and that it could be useful to plough on and reasses in a month or so. But I'm actually starting to get distressed by the idea of continuing. It makes me feel more lonely than if I stopped, because it's like she's there but not in the same way. This is someone who used to text me to say she was sleeping with the phone by her head if I needed to call during really bad nights. It's like doing therapy with somebody else now. She doesn't tell me that she loves me anymore. Fair enough, I'm a big girl. But I don't deserbe to put myself through another instance of someone deciding they don't love me after all.
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What I'm saying is that you might want to have a little more time to assess what she's doing and get through the withdrawal. I know just what you mean about being more lonely than if you were totally cut off: that's just how it's been for me.
Now, in terms of the emotional distancing you mention though, have you discussed that you miss those warm comments from her? Can you ask her for them?
My therapist has used certain phrases and comments with me that I love, and then stopped at times. Sometimes I've prodded her to use them again, and she obliges.
There is SO much change in your relationship right now, it's absolutely bound and guaranteed to be jarring. I do believe this sensation of being dropped can actually get better, and the therapy can still be helpful if she's still committed to you and I sense that she is.
I think you might be getting ahead of yourself, anticipating, panicing and worrying that she won't love you anymore. I don't see that happening right now at all. Moreso... I think I see you reacting to the fear of it, which is totally understandable to me because of all the changes and recent confusion.