I am not familiar with this disorder? illness? Could you please explain it a little if it's not too painful for you.

Now, about talking to shrinks. I take absolutely no crap from them. It's my mind and my body and I know what is best for me way better than they do. Some are kind and they do listen to you, but others have that "God complex" thing going on.

Every mental health facility has a patient advocate. If you are not getting the best care, that is your next step. I might say to your shrink-"I know you are not familiar with this, but I have it and it is important for me to be able to talk to you about it, so could you please study it so you can give me some real feedback.

Mine was cold and emotionless, which made me uncomfortable from the start. Then he insulted my work. "Now we don't want you to get so manic that you write three books in two weeks. Snicker, snicker."

Since writing a book can take between one and two years and sometimes a lot longer, I was floored. I never spoke to him again. I went to my patient advocate and explained the situation and they placed me with a med nurse, which was fine with me.

As far as playing that medication roulett game, they say it takes two or three weeks to 'fully feel the effects of the medication.' Bull pucky. They tried abilify on me and I knew within three days that it was f**king me up. I'm not saying this works for everyone, but sometimes you gotta shout to make them listen.

So no matter how many letters they have after their name, don't ever let them make you feel inferior. Keep in mind they are not doing this for free or from the kindness of their heart. The state is paying them, which means they work for you.

I am so sorry you have alll these awful things to deal with, but your health care does not have to be one of them. I wish you all the best, my dear and hope that things only get better for you from here.