Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebird14
He told me he hates how like on the weekends I'll give him a run down of my plans errands play dates etc and only send a text here or there during day . Now keep in mind I'm going store to store or at someone's house for play date . He says he feels not thought of . It drives me crazy . He said he gets frustrated to find out I'm back home for hours and don't even let him know . Now keep in mind he doesn't fill me in . I told him I don't feel I need to text ever min and honestly I've tried it and I feel so guilty as I'm staring at phone vs son so I stopped . I wonder if I would be diff if lived closer . I see the controlling signs and why I don't walk away I don't know . Ugh
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K..I feel like the disease of the week, but I'll give it one more try and you tell me if it sounds familiar:
So I knew he wouldn't be available (do to work...and time difference) when I got off work. So I told him (via text) I was going to stop off at a store we both were interested in, due to things we wanted to purchase. This was on a sunday. He texted 'ok' and reiterated he wouldn't be available until later after I'd gotten off work. I texted...'let me know when you are, baby and I'll message...I'll have the phone on"....he returned texted 'ok baby, love you'
So I go to the store on the way home but it was sunday as I said, so it closed early. Frustrated, I went home. I took the dog out, piddled around the house...and generally waited for him to message when he was available. About 4 hours later I get a nasty text from him in the order of 'where the f..k are you???'....I'm astonished.
I text back...'I'm here, baby...waiting for you. You said you'd be late'.....etc...the scene was ugly and left me crying and feeling awful. Eventually, it came out he was able to talk earlier but was waiting for me, but because I didn't message him (totally ignoring that HE was supposed to ---by his instruction---message me when he was free) he freaked out.
Except he didn't. He made me cry, he made me apologize (for nothing) he made me squirm and feel like the worst person in the world. And then ...he 'forgave me'....grudgingly....there was always the unspoken, implied fact, that he would never forget.
I didn't do anything. I know that now. I followed 'orders'....he changed the rules. On purpose. I know that now, too. I didn't then. Nearly broke my heart because I thought I'd hurt him so bad, but to him it was a game. How do I know? ....he told me later...much later. He never cared whether I was home when I said I was. He just wanted to see my 'reaction'. As a narc...he was nothing short of honest, later and actually sometimes before, in what he did and why he did it. In this he was a successful narc...he lied about nearly everything but he took great pride in the manipulation he visited on me and others, and couldn't stop himself from bragging.
If any of this sounds familiar............
I would so save you the awfulness that is being with someone who plays headgames like this.....NPD or not.
Take care.