Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon
The test doesn't seem to apply to me, but I took it anyway. Since I have only ever had one relationship, I can't answer about relationships in general, only about the one I am in, and I guess that's why the result does not seem to apply very well. (Fairly low anxiety, extremely high avoidant. I think that's a pretty judgmental term to apply to a person who simply wants to keep my private life to myself. I would like to live in a relationship where I could talk about things that bother me, but that is not in the hand I have dealt myself.)
It is rather amusing how much we take things that depend on current social conventions for granted. 100 years ago, 200 years ago, it would be completely normal to not confide one's worries to one's partner. Many people did, I'm sure, but many people did not, and there was no societal judgment of those.
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But many people during that period did have very close friendships--friendships that would seem very romantic to us to day. These kinds of friendships between women were termed Boston Marriages. Here's a Wikipedia article if your curious
Boston marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
and they also seemed to happen between men. Some people speculate that Abe Lincoln's close relationships with other men may not have been an indication of his sexuality, but were a certain kind of close friendship that was common in 19th century culture. Here'a link about that if you are curious too.
Boston marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
At any rate I think that its important to have someone close to you to confide things in--someone who understands you. Therapists do a lot of this work today, and I kind of thing that's too bad. Sure culture have always had healers of the emotional/spiritual nature, but I think there's a problem when therapy becomes the place where you are supposed to go and "deal with" your emotions, so that you can function in the rest of society.