Zinco I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. Sometimes it's hard to be around family, especially on holidays. I have done the same thing, I compare myself to family members who are smarter, happier, and have better jobs than I have and it makes me feel low. To top it off all my in-laws are perfectionists. I have a more loud and laid back personality so I really don't click with them. Of course on most holidays I end up being around my in-laws. My parents passed away 4 years ago. My brother began to act ugly and anti-social when they got sick so in a way, I feel like I lost a family when my parents died. And yes, it is hard for others to understand depression if they have not experienced the illness for themselves. I think I have worn out every friend I ever had with my depression. Hang in there.